The Weather in Montana


In most places, if you want to experience summer weather and winter weather, you have to wait for summer and winter. But in Montana, they don’t believe in none of that malarkey. Over there, they can do four seasons in seven and a half hours. We're talking about a state that offers the experience of an 88 degree afternoon followed by a 27 degree evening.

I wonder if the Montana Board of Tourism mentions that in their promotional material. "Are you eager to combine sunburns and frostbite? Well, you can't do that in Florida--I'll tell you that right now. Over there, all you can do is pick some oranges and go to the beach and high five a bunch of Cuban people and see Mickey Mouse. If you're looking for a really good time, you gotta head on up to Montana, where we will subject you to a wide variety of extreme weather conditions on a daily basis."

Here’s the best way to pack for a trip to Montana. "Okay. I got my pink Speedos, and I got my 15 layer insulated gore-tex Moosejaw jacket. I’m gonna need both of those pieces of apparel. I also got my Siberian rabbit-fur winter skullcap, and my Mexican lightweight sombrero." Your friend Hank says, "Oh. Are you packing for a trip where you go to Death Valley and then afterwards you head on over to Antarctica?" "Guess again, Hank! I’m going to one place, and one place only: Fort Benton, Montana! It's the most meteorologically ludicrous city in the world."

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