Observations

In most places, if you want to experience summer weather and winter weather, you have to wait for summer and winter. But in Montana, they don’t believe in none of that malarkey. Over there, they can do four seasons in seven and a half hours. We're talking about a state that offers the experience of an 88 degree afternoon followed by a 27 degree evening. I wonder if the Montana Board of Tourism mentions that in their promotional material. "Are you eager to combine sunburns and frostbite? Well, you can't do that in Florida--I'll tell you that right now. Over there, all you can do is pick some oranges and go to the beach and high five a bunch of Cuban people and see Mickey Mouse. If you're looking for a really good time, you gotta head on up to Montana, where we will subject you to a wide variety of extreme weather conditions on a daily basis." Here’s the best way to pack for a trip to Montana. "Okay. I got my pink Speedos, and I got my 15 layer insulated g...

We've all encountered someone whose refrigerator is excessively organized. The fruit is not merely congregated together in an unspecific manner. Citrus fruit gets its own exclusive drawer. "A fruit will not be admitted to the southwest drawer unless it contains ample amounts of vitamin C, it has a peelable outer layer, it has individual slices underneath that layer, and it is easily juiceable!" That's how the sheriff of this particular refrigerator lays down the law. Specific fruit drawers. And sauces that are arranged in order of their color, their flavor, and their Dewey Condiment Number. I'm talking about a carefully indexed condiment library where the Vegemite is definitely not between the ketchup and the BBQ sauce. The person in charge of that fridge--he loves the idea of sitting in his living room and knowing the exact longitude and latitude refrigerator coordinates of his turkey bacon and his goat cheese. He is one sick puppy--I'll tell you that right ...

People don't spend that much time putting together or reexamining their goals. They just have their goals, and that's it. Nor that much thought goes into the process. It's a ten second activity. As in, "Let's see. I'm 23. These are my 8 goals. Now I'm gonna spend the next 60 years pursuing those goals, and then I'm gonna drop dead. That's my life plan."

It's good to read. Supposedly. I would say it is good. But not in an absolute sense. Reading does have some potential drawbacks. I mean, the fact of the matter is, if you examine all the written content out there, you'll find that the majority of it falls under the category of "basically deranged."  This is especially true on this invention known as the internet. If you read something online, think twice about how much validity is actually contained in the words you read. Think twice, and then think twice again. Internet content requires a double twice-thinking procedure. And no, I'm not just referring to what’s posted on social media and message boards and YouTube comments. Even the articles you find on the internet have a tendency to deliver more derangement than validity. Have you ever come across one of those internet articles that do their darndest to prove the US is a bottom of the barrel country? They give you a bunch of numbers for different countries--an...

One time I came across a business article that said in 2015, ExxonMobil only made $20 billion. The article used the word “only”—because the Wall Street experts expected ExxonMobil to make much more than $20 billion. The primary lesson I learned for that article is ExxonMobil has to do a lot in order to impress the Wall Street experts. A $20 billion profit is “only” according to Wall Street. Wouldn’t it be something if those experts were in the habit of analyzing the entire world the way they analyze ExxonMobil? “Shakespeare only wrote 37 plays. He was a loser.” “Michael Jordan only won six NBA championships. The hell with him.” “Neil Armstrong always acted like he was some hotshot space explorer--but the only time he actually blasted off into space, he stopped at the first celestial body he came across, and then he headed right back to earth, like some kind of sissy. Also, when he golfed on the moon, he shot one birdie, one bogey, and three double bogies. A truly dedicated astronaut-go...

"Different people prefer different jobs." That's the prevailing theory regarding people's job preferences. And as far as I'm concerned, that prevailing theory is pure hogwash! Yeah. That's right. I said it. I used the PH word. Pure hogwash. I'm a keen observer of human nature. I bring some serious, high grade keenness into the equation. And I can state with complete certitude that men do not have different job preferences! There is no diversity whatsoever when it comes to this. All men want one job, and one job only: the job of Miami-based drug dealer. If you have any doubts regarding the veracity of that statement, I invite you to conduct the following experiment: get a bunch of men in a room with a TV and Blu Ray player, and start playing the movie Scarface . The men will all be mesmerized by this movie--and over the next 96 hours, they will all go very far in emulating an individual by the name of Tony Montana. I am not making this up! This is an easily...